Jeriel David Antonio Apelar

Perseverence

Am I the only one who has nightmares bout failin in life?

Failin in things you love to do

All the success that you plotted out goes withouta clue

The sleepless nights of what you wish you cud do

Wishin you wud give anybody hell that got in your way

Havin to stand up tall and havin the last say

Or how bout the doubt that creeps behind ya head

The criticism talked bliss that was all said

You wish you had every advantage to kill those pieces

When you run out of strength, all you need is jesus

Runnin out of breathe you fall

Challengin every nerve in ya body, then ya start to crawl

Then you get up on your feet

Your enemy wishin he shuda took a seat after he seen his inside isnt so strong, its so weak

Then you start to believe that nothin can stand in front of you

You get up stronger, your will to go on grew on you

And when you finally reach that point

All the blood, sweat, tears and broken joints

You thank every part of what happened

Now you got the world lookin at you clappin

As a person, it felt like everythin tore

But nothin is sweeter than gettin what you worked for

Bored.

Love is just a game

or to me it use to be

until you came

game changer, you’re the one to me

i get so damn depressed sometimes

doubtin my mind like a bitch but in the end i only care for you and I

i cant explain it

it drives me nuts to see u with emotion with other dicks

you play that “plain hard to get” too much i get stuck with cold feet and a head bust with love lust, damn im such a prick

and girl i dont blame you for puttin up a guard up

i wudnt trust a sprung up mofo like me vice versa

u can say im the one to blame

i secretly get tempermental without you being here next to my side

i get all workt up for no reason, emotional genocide

but u kno i laugh in the end

cuz we aint even nothin yet

i forget were on phase one

i can take care of u, if you let me show not preten

i dont want it to be like that

i wanna take care of u regardless of ur permission

lovin u wud be a mission, say every word with precision 

u crying with tears, submission

to you, with everythin i have

but im the one whos takin it fast

after it all, i smile

were on the first step of worlds collidin why keep runnin for miles

take baby steps for now

what we cud be is too good to be true

thats my biterness talkin’

one day me and you, a pair like twos

Put urself in my shoes

il show u what to do 

i can say u wont last

u aint me jus say “i pass”

i have family that turns on u

i got tons of them betrayal fews

i even got the homie that flakes

no explaination, we jus hate

what u play? a big mans game

how tall r u? not big enough mang

forget the heart its the size

since wen was talent all bout height

i can say ive heard enuf

put a fake smile on or a bluff 

bein strong aint bein fake

i can show u how much guts it takes

get the chance to better urself

dont fall for it and void urself

i got too much shit to lose

just add problems to my fuse

but for now jus fill my dreams

i smile everytime i see u and me

dreams are always put on hold

wit u i see anythin but cold

fantasy driven nothin ta lose

u can prob say i self abuse

but wit u, everythins cool

yea, everythins cool

just wit u, everythins cool

mind goes blank, lights go dark

fighting this like drown a shark

free the judge see my eyes

il give u one hell of a night

and wit u, everythins cool

yea, everythins cool

i wont pass on this….

Don’t judge my decisions if you don’t know my reasons.

So easy to judge someone when you dont get want you want

it happens all the time, they get it, lost it, then front

love is the hardest thing to gain and lose

people make love so easy, they think they can pick and choose

find urself at a bar cryin tearsheds drinkin that booze

what they dont kno is they can get better than the shit they want, refuse

to renew, redo, retain one heart

time goes faster than u actually think, grow apart

is basically wat happened and granted

i was so caught up wit myself,

im lightyears away u cant put love on a shelf

i did what i did for you

one day ul thank me for makin u stronger instead of killin u

so ur hearts broken what do u do

judge much and u think to urself “i lose”

what doesnt kill u makes u stronger is really true

u think ur the only one who got their shit to lose?

ive stood ground to waves comin at me

i conquered all my fears that hold me

ive cried so many tears for the “aint proud to be me”

im criticize wit everythin that makes up me

and i wudnt have me any other way

i came up so far and so short in almost everyway

does that mean i give up in life

does that mean i give in to the quits and call this fight

do u think i hid myself from the world and turned off the lights

or maybe i jus found the brighter side of white

when somethin is so far down the drain

do u give it passed ur all and think ul gain?

have u ever thought that im so tired of bein strong?

when all the rights gone wrong, what was meant to happen was prolonged

not all battles were meant to be fought

i sit here, feelin it out wit this pen my heart in the end is the one that jots all this soon to be “pretend”

it wasnt easy for me, and it still aint

im still finding myself while u findin ur hearts taint

im still that driven person to do more than expected

i still got that clinched fist that i manifested

id like to say welcome to my life

u got a bit of wat i have to go thru, without lost insight

Its been a while….

What ive been through, youll never understand

ive been through hell and back and came back a better man

some ppl say im heartless at some point 

maybe u need to dig deep in me, pass my joints

you aint the only one has cried, i cried and use to want to die

i broke hearts for the better to make them feel alive

i ran distances no one thought id reach that high

its not that im heartless or that kind of guy

i jus keep my heart locked up for the one who tries to ply 

ive been in almost every love situation

i hated, fought, went to war out of frustration

im too that point where trust is a valuable thing

girls who wants perfection will never get the ring

it doesnt just go for that one special girl

it goes for everyone who tries and enter my world

this aint a movie or another joke

im a real dude with real thoughts, not anything goes

i really hate people that judge me

i hear about all my flaws everyday roughly

a dreamer livin a life with ambition

not everyones got the grace that im given

im just glad god created me different